Yes, they actually asked children about this.
This is the new london pen......mascot AWESOME!
zed shaw: the new coke?
May 18
Well, recently I had some fun at the expense of an unemployed(able?) person, I have to admit, it was a wrong thing to do, I don’t know why I did it, oh yeah, actually, I do remember….
CAUSE HE IS A GIANT DICK
thats right, it’s true, you can read it on the interwebs to know it’s true or not, don’t just take my word for it, he is literally talking out of his ass, 24/7 and I actually got onto his blog, I don’t know whats worse, knowing he exists, or knowing that literally thous..tens of people will swamp over my little blog and throw plastic penises at me.
It all started many years ago, when zed committed career suicide, hilarious as it was, it was a good time, a period of happiness for everyone, over the following period of time, I noticed his name again and again, always saying something retarded and very stupid, or at least, repeating something someone else said, but in a stupid manner, therefore making everyone miss the point of what he was actually trying to say and concentrate on his asshole instead.
I am sure that deep down, zed wants to be loved, or at least, he wants to be recognised, we all do. The problem for zed is that not many people like him and it hurts his options for future happiness. Normally, I would recognise such a person as a worthy programmer looking for glory, we have to admit it, we all are that person, all the programmers who read this, wants to create something that everyone will look up to and recognise the intelligence held inside the creator and repeat to their friends, creating a world of opportunity for said person.
Now, before we begin, I just wanna point out, that I have no personal beef with zed, it’s his mouth I have beef with, most of what he says is harmless fun and I reckon he’s a megalolcow, I appreciate some of the things he has said, I want to say that now, because I don’t want people to think I’m hating JUST BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO. I have my reasons and although he’ll act like a bitch the rest of his life and never really understand my point, I have to say it, just because honesty is the best policy.
I also want to point out, that on my blog, freedom of speech is paramount, even if that speech hurts me, if it causes a great deal of hurt, maybe I’ll spam your comment, but I allow you to rant and rage as much as you like. Unlike zed, who isn’t interested in the opinions of others.
I like your thinking!!
Perhaps thats the first clue to the puzzle.
He recently ranted a little bit incoherently about my acheivements and said I’m in the bottom 20% blah blah, you can read it here:
http://oppugn.us/posts/1274143375.html
basically, he likes to think he’s in the top 1% of the programmer group and I’m in the bottom 20%, his reasoning is because he only found 2 or 3 of my projects that I’ve not had time to fully create and properly structure, therefore, I must be a giant douche bag.
First observation: I am a giant douche 
I like it, it’s why I have fun in life and I don’t really care what some balding man with no future says.
so therefore, I decided to break apart again another one of his idiotic ramblings and dissect it online, with the ability to comment back if you disagree, on what I’m about to say.
first up, zed has a short memory
know, you probably read that sentence and thought, “Well shit Zed, that’s what you do asshole.” You’re right, but I restrict my ranty words to assholes I feel are hurting other people, and I can take it as good as I get it.
It seems obvious to most people that zed has a personality which loves himself as well as one whose primary purpose seems to be doing exactly what he says he doesn’t do, although it’s nice to know he can take as much as he gets. big man.
oh and btw zed, I didnt “attempt” to troll you, I did troll you, the fact that you took the time to make a big deal out of it and post up your puny attempt to get your own back proves that, if I didn’t troll you, if it was water off a ducks back, you’d have just gone back to playing your guitar, right? But you didn’t, you opened up your blog and fired away.
I would call that a mission successful.
The zed predicts the future.
Then I got bored. I mean, if you’re gonna troll a mother fucker at least do it right. I think I’d rather watch a homeless guy pound a steamer into a San Francisco sidewalk than play troll with a guy who has no grasp of the English language despite probably being British.
hey zed man, do you need some money? I can lend you some because I know you’re down on your luck and nobody really wants to employ you anymore, how does ten bucks sound? I want it back by friday though. So in a very serious and real way, zed might actually BE THAT HOMELESS GUY pounding a great big steaming pile of turd into the san francisco sidewalk in the near future, I would love to see that btw, could you be such a great guy and whip out the mobile phone, take a video and youtube that fucker for me? could ya? thanks, I’ll give you another ten bucks, for real! shizzle!
Then zed surprises all of us by saying he doesnt know how to use wordpress “His blog barely works.” yeah, nice one mate, I’m sure you can google that one by yourself.
then he mentions an old forgotten project, which I still use, but havent had time to keep up the website, ESFTP, what zed didn’t take time to find out about, was that ESFTP has over 100,000 downloads and even people at AMD are using it (I had a support request with an amd.com email address).
Who uses eclipse? what, you couldn’t go and find that out on the net? millions of people use it you fucking moron.
Why did I create ESFTP? because in eclipse, it wasn’t possible to quickly and easily upload a file to a remote location, you had to navigate through about 10 screens to get to the point of uploading, I wanted to attach it to a shortcut and press three keys to upload a file, thats why people download the plugin, I’ll give you some stats from recent months.
| Date (UTC) | Rank | Total Pages | Downloads |
| 7 May 2010 | 21,292 | 180 | 21 |
| 16 May 2010 | 21,191 | 92 | 3 |
| 15 May 2010 | 21,496 | 135 | 3 |
| 14 May 2010 | 21,422 | 170 | 10 |
| 13 May 2010 | 21,637 | 307 | 27 |
| 12 May 2010 | 22,210 | 334 | 18 |
So, when people say my shitty project which I created for my own benefit and decided to share in bad shape, with bugs, with errors, without unit tests, I think I am doing quite nicely thank you very much.
Are there any unit tests? nope! you know why, because unit tests are overrated, sure, they are necessary when you are providing a quality product for a client, but when you’re writing code for yourself, they are just wasted time.
He has blog posts bitching about Eclipse, so I’m pretty sure he’s a one trick Java pony
Zed, do you know how many people hit my blog looking for that information, eclipse is complex and sometimes fails, my technical writings about fixing those problems I found whilst using it, are very useful to lots of people, you can just look at the comments on those posts to find people thanking me for saving them serious time.
Even the project he seems to have nailed me on, is an outdated, deprecated project which has no website for a reason, it’s because, it was dropped, but apparently the empty directory is enough to secure my fate, this guy is a fucktard.
Then zed predicts the future again, although, not in the way he would probably appreciate
Reading through his blog you’d think he’s an incredibly good programmer making millions working for someone, and who knows maybe he is making shitloads of money, although I doubt it.
It just so happens, I am signing this week a project that has a projected €40,000 a month value, of which I will retrieve a 25% share of that into my own pocket, after taxes, like I said, if you need to borrow a dollar, I’ll give you one, no problems. Can you imagine, €10,000 a month, in one year, €120,000. Thats just my personal take home. So I suppose you are right, I am, or will be, soon, making shitloads of money. Well predicted!!!
Then zed is AGAIN showing us his ability to find the truth of the matter
Researching this guy, it got me thinking again about my theory of the internet creating the “rise of the twenty-percenter”.
Yes, you see zed, your theory is right, because, you are an example of it. This guy is on the money! (although not literally) he’s banging it out left right and center.
As for your theory, I totally agree, I in fact would subscribe to the same view, the internet is full of people who actually can’t create anything, nor know how to create anything, it’s a hard fact of life that most programmers around me, are not competant, a company I used to work for has two of those same people. I won’t mention the company name because google likes my blog too much and it finds too many things, I dont want to directly insult people.
NOTE: if you’re reading this and used to work with me, I would point out that you don’t actually know whether I’m talking about your company, or another company, so relax, chances are, if you know my blog, you’re NOT in the incompetant group.
I agree totally that the internet is full of morons who can’t code, or convince those around them that they can, I am working on a project now that looks like someone took one of those dumps on the street and pushed it through the CDROM tray of their computer and happened to find it’s way onto the net.
Zed’s main problem: misunderstanding
zed seems to think that I’m attacking his ability to create, whilst I don’t remember once talking about projects he’s been involved in (although on the net there is little evidence of that, perhaps he could clear that up by putting forward the projects he has personally completed), I am not attacking his work, I’m attacking the man, the fact is, that mongrel according to my peers is a great piece of software. Lamson, whilst I think it’s not a very worthy project, apparently is well regarded, even if it is solving the wrong part of the problem.
No no, all those zed lovers will be happy to know, that technically, I think zed is competant, weird isn’t it and no, this isnt an attempt to say sorry, or kiss ass, I really do think zed is a penis shaped candy, but technically, I think zed has done ok.
The problem comes, is that zed’s brain is often not as quick as his mouth and before zed’s brain can analyse when he’s said, his mouth has already said it and it’s too late, thats why his ghetto rant was removed and replaced with an “almost” apologetically written entry instead, you can find it on the web archive or whatever, but history has shown us that zed can’t live in our world without our help because he has some kind of inability to shut his mouth before he makes everyone around him wonder why they employed the guy in the first place.
Zed’s other main problem: money
This inability to control his mouth led to his other problem, he is complaining that nobody wants to touch him, or employ him and he’s not given the respect he thinks he deserves.
The difference between myself and zed is, I can back up what I say, or at least apologise when I’m wrong, I will point out this blog article I wrote 1 year ago.
http://blog.chris-alex-thomas.com/2009/07/14/zed-shaw-why-i-algpl/
in that article, which I will point out that he hasn’t replied to, he completely destroys any stock he had by spouting trash that anyone with a brain can figure out, is rubbish, this is his main problem, he doesn’t understand enough to realise that what he is saying, isnt true, when you point it out, you become one of those assholes he likes to rail against (pun intended!)
fact is, his article which is linked to in my blog article, is full of bullshit, thats why I wrote what I did, because I’m sick of his bullshit spreading through the internet, like some giant plume of oil making ignorant whatever it touches.
So then, when it comes to that interview time, he is offered a junior sysadmin post at google, because thats ultimately what he is worth, he whilst being very technically capable, hasnt the control required to sit at a table with managers and deal, he has to rant, he has to open fire, he has to use that wing chun, because it’s what he is, uncontrollable.
If you’re uncontrollable, you’re usually unemployable.
My Achievements, the ones he missed
because zed’s research either didnt work, or he was too disappointed that I have actually done things, so it would undermine his argument, I will point out what I’ve done, so people can take a look.
Mostly I do webdev, because I like it, I use a designer, we both work together on projects and create really amazing works together.
1) last year, I worked at one of the top hotel reservation platforms on the net, based in barcelona
2) I created a single file implementation of Paypal due to their inability to spend some of those million dollar profits on ACTUAL documentation, or test implementations that don’t look like they hired an idiot to write. this file install easily into your project, does paypal transactions and has no 500 file framework dependencies.
3) When I was 20-21, I created a plugin based graphics/game engine named fusion, which was about 36,000 lines of code, all C++, with heavy OOP and Dynamic library support. I know my shit.
4) I am, to date, according to my research, the only person on the planet, with a working file progress upload monitor working in pure PHP, without any flash/java/perl supports (I would actually love to hear of another implementation, because it’s strange, in 6 years, nobody has done it, yet when you’re uploading 500MB files, it’s absolutely critical)
5) I have created a widget system for websites, that allows you to split a site up and reuse it’s parts in other projects, along with the support framework that it needs in order to make web development easy and effective
6) I created ESFTP, which has I think over 100,000 downloads, even if you hate eclipse, or don’t see the point, or lament that it has no unit tests, I wrote it for myself and people at AMD have contacted me about using it, so I must be doing something right.
7) I am the manager of about 20 websites on the net, if you can’t find what those websites are, consider yourself one of the bottom 20%, I hope nobody reading this is one of those people
The reason I don’t update my websites so much and there are broken links, is easy to understand, I have too much work, I never have time to find everything and somethings lapse into obscurity, it’s a failure of mine, I work too much, live too little.
I can go on, but I won’t, zed either didn’t find out these things, or didn’t know where to look, I guess some people talk about the 20%, without realising, perhaps they are one of those people. What is the old saying?
If you’re playing poker and you don’t know whose losing: it’s you.
Reading those tea leaves is hard. A much better idea is to open thetimesonline.co.uk and look for inspiration!
like this little nuggest of gold.
trolling zed shaw
May 18
for great justice!
Jake Blair wrote: (in the comments section)
How Ironic – so what’s this to be?
A New NEW Labour. What this country needs is somebody with a solid background, a reputable experience, a insider track record, a likable personality, both social & professional integrity, an attitude of long term stability with political cohesion & diversity at its core. Couple that with self-pride & worth, and a humbling attitude to the public who placed him in office. None of this you will get with Labour, or Milliband – the only man on the face of the earth willing to absolutely anything to secure himself a better job. A conniving little two faced, spineless toad. A wimp, a wart on the decency of public office. What’s even more scary is the fact the obvious Labour collective out there (including my constituency), will vote him in. New Labour remember that? Where did that take us.
Face it Labour voters.
Labour have no track record, only bad experience at the helm.
Everything they have touched, suggested, intervened in or ran away from has directly impacted everyone of us in more than one way.
And people still vote Labour……
What a joke this country is.
The important question would be, was that the idea to begin with?
looks like I hit a raw nerve with all the freetards coming out of the woodwork to “debunk” me publically.
http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/2/2010/02/13/openoffice_review
I put my name on the web and I put my money where my mouth is, hardly anyone has the balls to do that it seems and when they do, they make such a complete cock of themselves it’s incredible.
Imagine this, I give point after point about why openoffice is failing and why office 2007 has gotten it right. Yet instead of detailing a single point why I am wrong, they say that I’m a whiney corporate schill or perhaps that i’m using straw man arguments. Yet instead of details WHY all this is true, they just say it and hope that it becomes true.
We, my friends, are in classic freetard territory, where the person who ends the discussion with “your wrong” wins. Classic idiot territory is another way you can describe it.
Here my freetarded friends, I shall give you a point by point way to success in: How to have online discussion
1) if someone says something you don’t like, it’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to put the world straight
2) if you wish to do this, you must counter what is being said, with arguments that address the original text
3) Saying “Your wrong!!!!one!!!!eleventy!” does not make you win the discussion, it just makes you look stupid
4) if you reply like this and you get smacked down, it’s because you’re an idiot, go back to working in McDonalds, the world does not need you
5) If you do reply in an intelligent manner, do not attack the person, if you get called an idiot, most likely, it’s because instead of replying the argument, you retorted that “you must think that because you’re stupid” because thats a sure fire way to lose any argument.
6) if you abuse me, I shall abuse you, plus if I am right and you havent demonstrated intelligence, I reserve the right to publically pound you until I get bored.
Those simple yet effective rules, shall guide you to your path, if they don’t, please go back to your basement, nobody cares about you and I really hope nobody procreates with you also.
A good example of DOING_IT_WRONG is clearly demonstrated here:
http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/2/2010/02/13/openoffice_review
You can see some people have demonstrated intelligence and are replied in the same way that they have done so, you can also see lots of people who have demonstrated idiocy and the resulting wrath that is laid upon them.
Happy commenting!
hi guys,
now, I’m a prototype guy, I can do jquery, but I find it easier to build apps and OOP structures using prototype, but one of the things that annoys me about it is that sometimes it doesnt respect my authority!
say you have an element in your page you want to fade in and out with opacity settings, normally, in my code, I set display: none, then I set opacity: 0 and when I want to fade it in, I have a little reusable function that uses prototypes setOpacity() method to abstract the differences between how IE and firefox do things.
but the problem with setOpacity is that when opacity reaches 1, or 100 in IE, the method removes the opacity attribute by setting opacity:”" which basically removes the attribute, the reason this is done is because in IE, the cleartype font rendering hates opacity settings and when you fade in an element using a interval based animation, the font type screws up and looks ugly. in all the other browsers it’s fine, just IE.
so whilst your transition fade is happening, you’re fonts look ugly, the answer therefore is to not use the attribute, but well, not much choice if you want to fade something in, so their answer at prototype was to remove the attribute when the element was faded into view, because they view opacity:”" as the same as opacity:1 but opacity:1 has font rendering issues, but opacity:”" basically removes the opacity settings and then that means the element is displayed perfectly opaquely.
The problem with this, is that if you have in your stylesheet opacity:0 for example, in firefox, when you reach opacity:1, your element disappears, because setOpacity then does opacity:”" which mean it’ll default back to your stylesheet, opacity:0
Their answer was kinda obvious dont put opacit settings in the stylesheet. So basically I have to find another way of doing things just because of what happens when they handle setOpacity(1), which to me, is stupid.
The answer that I came up with was an extra parameter which when set to a true value, would mean that setOpacity(1) would result in opacity:1 and not opacity:”" and false would do the status quo.
setOpacity(1) -> opacity:”"
setOpacity(1,true) -> opacity: 1
to me, it’s my decision wheteher I want to live with crappy font rendering or not, I prefer to let IE users have crappy fonts than cramp my development style working around bugs in prototype.
So I created a patch and uploaded it onto their lighthouse development system, it got rejected, or forgotten about, or whatever.
But if you, like me, want that setOpacity(1) means opacity:1, then you can download the file I have attached below because it is a modified version of prototype 1.6.1 with the modifications I made against 1.6.0.3 for the new force attribute.
Enjoy and please let me know if you think this is a good idea or a bad idea!
Hi guys,
another modification for the fotobook plugin for facebook is the ability to automatically update albums based on a timer, which is great if you casually add photos to the facebook albums, but don’t remember to update them in wordpress, you can actually get the system to update itself.
Firstly, it’ll only work on albums you have already selected to show in the wordpress blog, so if you add a new album, you’ll still have to manually add that through the wordpress blog administration panel.
Secondly, open the fotobook.php file from the fotobook plugin in your favourite text editor and search for the this function
“function fb_display_main”
You’ll find it around line 930.
above it, add the following NEW function
function fb_periodic_update()
{
@session_start();
$current = time();
$timeout = 300;
if(!isset($_SESSION["fb_update_timeout"]))
{
$_SESSION["fb_update_timeout"] = $current - $timeout;
}
if(isset($_SESSION["fb_update_timeout"]))
{
if(($_SESSION["fb_update_timeout"] + $timeout) <= $current) { $_SESSION["fb_update_timeout"] = $current; $facebook = new FacebookAPI; if($facebook->link_active()) $facebook->update_albums();
}
}
}
Then at the top of the function fb_display_main(), do this
function fb_display_main($content) {
remove_filter('the_content','wpautop');
fb_periodic_update();
....the rest of the function don't touch it......
now whenever you open the fotobook albums page, every 500 seconds, it’ll refresh from facebook the photos you have in all the albums. I tried it myself and it works beautifully!
So, I hope you have fun modifying wordpress plugins! Keep the flame burning!
Recently I started to keep a fotoblog of my puppy Zora, the reason is that sadly, zora doesn’t live with me anymore because she lives with Cecilia now, who moved back to Amposta.
So I was feeling sad and thought that to cheer me up, or depress me more, I could start a fotoblog of all the happy memories I had and I could share with others who don’t have facebook.
The one thing I wanted to do was to import facebook albums, because I have a lot of cool pictures on it and I came across fotobook, which is really cool, you install it, connect it to your fb account, give permissions to access the albums and then import the album information which then lets you put that up on your wordpress blog.
One modification that I wanted to do to it though was that I wanted to import pictures from a fan page and also from my user account, which with the default, was not possible.
What follows below is a method to obtain albums from your account and any number of fan pages you want, here is how to do it
==========================
you will need to open the ftp of your wordpress and using your favourite editor, open the fotobook.php file from the plugin after it’s been installed, around line: 290, you’ll find a foreach() statemen and just below it $uid = $session["uid"]; that is where all this starts.
the idea that someone had was to replace this with $uid = “123123123″; where the 123123 number is the id of the fan page, this works, but the problem is that you also lose the ability to import albums from your account, so I was thinking of a way to do both, import from fan pages AND your user account AND any number of other fan pages (because you can just repeat the function call multiple times as many fan pages as you want)
I posted this to the help forum, I copypasta it here also
==========================
I have an extension for this idea grabbing the fan pages.
as mentioned above, you can use the following code
//$uid = $session["uid"];
$uid = “12312312312″; <— fan page id
but a muuuch better idea is to refactor the code that grabs the albums, so you can call it multiple times, with any fan page id you could want, I explain.
just above the line where you comment out the session uid and put the fan page id, you find a foreach() statement, which loops through and grabs albums associated with that session uid, the modification basically says, screw the session uid, choose the fan page id instead
my idea is this, create a new method like this:
function get_multiple_album(&$fb_albums,&$fb_photos,$page_uid=false){
}
inside that method, copy and paste the ENTIRE foreach statement, just above it, if you are not a developer, this will be hard, find someone to help you understand how to program, then try it.
paste the code into the new method you’ve called and where the foreach was before, replace it with something like this
if($this->get_multiple_album($fb_albums,$fb_photos) == false) return false;
if($this->get_multiple_album($fb_albums,$fb_photos,”123123123123″) == false) return false;
where 1231231231 is obviously the fan page.
you also notice the first call to get_multiple_albums doesnt have a number like, 123123, it’s because that we are going to use a DEFAULT PARAMETER, to define that in this case, use your account, there is no fan page number, so use the account number instead
the benefit of this is now you can call it multiple times for any number of fan pages you might want to import from, you are not just limiting yourself to only one fan page, now you can import your accounts albums, plus any number of facebook fan pages.
inside the method, you will have to make a modification
where it USED TO SAY
$uid = $session["uid"];
replace it with
$uid = ($page_uid !== false) ? $page_uid : $session["uid"];
now go back to wordpress, import all your albums, hide the ones you want to keep private and you’re all set to go.
I hope it helps you