desktop linux is a joke

I thought I would give my two pennies on a slashdot thread about why desktop linux never arrived, you can read about it here :)

Although if you don’t want to click the link, here is what I said:

lets face facts, yesterday, I was thinking, did the nvidia driver install or not? so where do I open to find such information? the 10,000 line log file in /var/log or do I open a control panel and find it inside the monitor section? nope! cause it’s not stated.

so it’s 2012 and yet I have no fucking idea what graphics driver I am using yet windows 95 could tell me that, what is the colour depth of my screen? oh yes, but I can’t find it in the monitor section, I need to open the nvidia setting graphics utility to find that, how can I turn off vsync? in the monitor section? wrong again, no I have to use some old utility that looks like it was build in the 90’s by a programmer with autism.

fact is, linux is shit on the desktop and practically all of them are the same, they just try to mask it better than others, perhaps linux mint is the best desktop distro so I’ve heard, it’s certainly better that debian, which rocket scientists have problems with.

let me iterate again, it’s two thousand and fucking twelve and yet you bunch of clowns can’t even get your shit together for long enough to write a fucking graphics/monitor dialog that might make me think you actually intentionally wrote a useful tool, as opposed to accidentally inventing regexp and thinking you’re shit is done and time to go home.

pulseaudio? are you fucking serious?? I have two fucking speakers in my computer, if you can’t get pulseaudio to work with hardware which has been around for the best part of a decade, you’re a moron, you claim your software is technicall better than anything else, yet in practice it’s shite and barely works even at the best of times, yesterday I found on some obscure forum that if I open the default configuration for pulse audio and change some enumeration value with an extra ,0 or ,1 or ,2 depending on the enumeration index in my computer it’ll play sound, HOORAY FUCKING HALLELOUGYAH! (or however you spell it, lets go grammer nazi’s!!)

why you guys are all circle jerking each other over wobbly windows, or the latest opengl 3d desktop cube touch screen intuitive desktop interface of the future you’re house is on fire, windows 95 beats your ass into the ground in terms of simplicity and basic tools that nobody has even had the balls to say “fuck open source, you do it my way of the highway” and actually make a system which works, is reliable and actually won’t screw up the next time I hit the “install updates” button

can you imagine the shit microsoft would take if installing updates blue screened a bunch of computers, yet that shit happens all the fucking time thanks to the beauty of linux, where even simple things are made impossible.  I did it the other day, I upgraded my desktop, when I rebooted, unknown boot device, AWESOME!!! THANKS GUYS!! please walk in front of a bus, remove yourself from the genepool cause I’ll be fucked if I recommend any of your shit to anybody whilst you can’t even tell me the graphics driver I am using whilst inside and without typing in something that looks like my cat just jumped on the keyboard…

seriously, you want to know why? it’s because you guys are a bunch of clowns, thats why….

6 thoughts on “desktop linux is a joke”

  1. Truth. Subtly understated in spite of efforts by Mr Thomas to the contrary . . . nothing here is overstated. Key point–“desktop linux” . . . I think I’m on my 5th re-install of one form or another of Debian based LinuxPPC in my G4 iMac. One recent update removed the video driver and once again I’m without the display/GUI . . . countless times Debian Linux has lost the display leaving me in the dark realm of the CLI. However, it should be said that on my iBook G4 laptop there have been fewer or no problems with the display, possibly because it uses the radeon driver. And, indeed, even fewer problems running Linux Mint’s LMDE version which is Debian based . . . but again on a laptop. So it does seem that the blackhole for Debian/Linux is the desktop or only in this case, two desktops–mine, and Mr Thomas’?????


  2. @Grumpy Nerd: I’ve read your blog post with great interest and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

    (as long as that newsletter software actually sends emails cause you configured postfix correctly after the 50th howto you read and the software actually shows a send button and doesnt give some weird esoteric php FATAL ERROR because the author forgot to santise the inputs that caused by accident the deletion of your contact database.)

  3. I know it’s been about 3 1/2 years, but I just came across this post and just had to reply.
    “…without typing in something that looks like my cat just jumped on the keyboard…” <- That's my favorite part right there. I've never seen it put quite so elegantly before today. Add "and ran around in circles a dozen times" and I think it's the most accurate description of the ludicrous Linux command line I've ever heard. It's like what you'd get if you actually put a monkey at the keyboard to see if you'd get Shakespeare. It's like if the NSA typed a command and then said, "Okay, now encrypt it and make it 10 times longer." It's like George RR Martin describing the color, smell and consistency of shit…it goes on WAY too long and when it's over, you feel tired and dirty. And the real joke about Linux is that when you hit that "Update" button all it's really doing is passing along a mile long command line command (actually, probably many such mile long commands) to the command line because, hey, in Linux land we STILL party like it's 1989 (<-not a typo meant to be 1999).

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